Sunday, 13 April 2008

Family... Don't you just love them to death?


I sure as hell has a stick and I would like to use it to hit certain family members over the head!

What is it with family anyway? What makes them think that just because you have similar DNA they have the right to give you shit about the way you live your life? And for something that is definetly not your fault? *Sigh* Oh well, I'll explain..

It's my grandmother.. Okay, so I'm unemployled.. And on sick pay at the moment because I got an injury during my last job and my contract didn't get renewed since I was out sick. The big problem here though is that this was in November last year and I only just now started having my injury treated by a professional after my dicktor (no, that is not a type-o, he really is a dick) admitted that he couldn't cure me with his multicoloured wonderpills. This treatment is helping, but the problem is that I go to her, my therapist, two times a week and after I've been there I can hardly walk for the rest of the day and most of the day after. Doesn't seem like a good situation to be in, does it? Well, it isn't... And it really doesn't make it better when my own grandmother, my family, one of the people who is supposed to help me in such difficult times, decides that she's gonna throw shit in my face because I don't have a job.

When I was downstairs in her appartment tonight - I live in the appartment above her - she started talking about jobs again, as she does pretty often.
"I saw that the local news paper is hiring now... There has been alot of jobs in the paper recently", she said, looking away from me. She didn't even look me in the eye when she said it.
"I still don't want to talk about jobs, grandma", I told her, like I have done before since I really do want to work, but as the situation is at the moment I just can't. And do you know what she answered me?! Off course not, you weren't there.

She said "No, you don't want to work, do you?" with so much blame in her voice I couldn't believe my ears. It's as though she thinks that I'm actually brought this on myself so that I wouldn't have to work. Such venom hurts... I don't think I would have cared if it had come from someone else be it a friend or maybe even a doctor, but when it's family... I don't know.. What am I supposed to say to her anyway? If I say that I want to work her eyes say "Then why don't you?" and if I say nothing I silently agree and that's even worse. I guess I'll just have to wring my brain and try to figure out a way to tell her how it really is... But it's just so fucking hard (Excuse my language, but it's my bloody blog, isn't it?) to find the right words. She's my gran for pity's sake! But it doesn't seem like there is much pity involved here anyway...

1 comment:

Therona said...

:( You poor thing. *giefs a bucket o'support and a big hug* I hope she'll realize how hard it is for you soon, and start supporting you instead...